On September 14th, my greatest supporter, confidant, and grandma, Muriel Constance Coyne McCloy, passed away. Our connection was strong, and her passing left a large void in my life. I was her “best bubba boy”, “the prince,” and “my love.” To never hear her call me those nicknames again is stunningly hard.
Muriel was my biggest fan; dependable, optimistic, generous, full of wisdom, and oozed a certain class most people can only dream of. She had a particular way of making people feel comfortable and shaping an entertaining conversation. Nothing was ever off limits. She was engaging, a true conversationalist. She was funny and had a great wit. I loved our visits and am unsure how I will replace that memorable time.
She was an ardent supporter of children and families in need. She loved God and lived a full life.
When my grandfather, Joseph Pimentel, known as “Big Joe” (or “grumpa”) passed away in 1997, I made a conscious decision to quit my childhood love affair of playing baseball. The year before he passed, my junior year, from April through August, we played in over 80 baseball games together. Twice I played three games in a day. He understood commitment and never let me down. He made three games a day possible. Traversing across the Metro West, he went to all of my games and was my best friend.
The love, and most importantly, an accepting nod when I walked to home plate for my at-bat, brought me great comfort and joy. I can still hear his famous line, “hit it over the house Luke!” like it was yesterday. I played baseball for him and couldn’t do it alone.
My grandma had an equally significant impact and was strong enough to carry me through my life. After Big Joe’s passing, she filled a spiritual role and ensured the days of going at life’s issues alone were over. She had compassion for miles, and when my life touched a line of craziness, she provided a guiding hand and emotional support.
Naturally, I’ve matured and wondered what life would be like after grandma had passed. It’s a bit surreal to think that the time has come. When Big Joe passed, giving up baseball seemed like an easy solution to my grief. This time, however, I feel a strong need to be more like my grandmother. Shortly after her passing, my family listed many of the things she loved. We jotted things down in a stream-of-conscious conversation. This act was both a tribute to her and healing for us. Through our memories of her, she was teaching us to love life and appreciate the beauty in the simple things. Butter, sunny days, the ocean, camping, home-cooked meals…these things are what life is about.
The final list was shared with family and friends during her calling hours. It quickly quadrupled what I could put down. It is something I need to work on; I’m coming to realize that life is too short not to enjoy all the little things that Muriel loved so much. I know that as I learn to appreciate (I mean really savor) a little extra butter on my baked potato, I’ll be remembering her. Because even in the face of constant hospital visits, Macular Degeneration in both eyes, and many other serious health concerns, she found a way to see the good and loved living life.
One of the last times we spoke was on her 80th birthday when I called and interrupted her lobster dinner. She was spending time with her siblings in Oregon. A trip that I had encouraged her to take for a long time. Through our conversation, I could tell she was enjoying herself immensely; this still provided me with great comfort. Days after our phone conversation, I received the news that she had fallen and was in intensive care. My wife and I traveled to Oregon to be with her. After a cross-country flight and a two-hour car ride, we missed her passing by minutes. This still haunts me. I wanted her to know that I was coming to see her. She meant the world to me, and I was on my way.
My most significant honor to her was giving my daughter, Shealagh, the middle name of Muriel. At first, she didn’t like the idea and thought it was unnecessary, but later grew fond of the notion that her name would be carried on. It meant a lot to her. I wish there were more I could have given of myself and done with her before she passed. Unfortunately, Shealagh will not have as much time as I experienced with this amazing woman. Regardless, I’ll ensure my grandma’s flame never goes out. As Shealagh gets older, we will talk about her “GG,” listen to the sweet voicemails left for us over the years and look through our photos and videos. I intend to use “Shealagh Muriel” more often to help me through. What a wonderful reminder of my grandma for the rest of my life.
Wonderful and a really nice tribute to two people we both love and will cherish though the woods are dark and deep will remember them – well done Luke.
A lovely tribute, Luke.
That was awesome Luke, both grandma and Big Joe would be so happy, they both loved you so very much and were crazy about you!!!!!!! They would both be so proud of how much of a man, husband and father you’ve become… It is nice to know that heaven has a new angel looking after all of us.
I love you Luke, Uncle Mick
I am in awe of you. You are so brave to process your grief in this public way. I love you even more after reading this… Michael is correct, you are the most amazing man, husband and father. xoxo
Luke:
Even after the past couple years, this is still wonderful read and a place to go, remember, and think about your Grandparents.